Staying True

May 13, 2011

It’s the end of the week, Friday the 13th at that, and once again and I’m resuming my position at my MacBook. It’s been an immense week. Historical. What started out as a positive run up to what should have been our big ‘move day’ mid next week has ended with a minefield of confusion and stress. The house which we’d applied for (and had successfully been approved for) has been snatched off us by our would-be landlord because of the lure of a sale. Gutted is an understatement. With less than three working days remaining of our current tenancy we are now back to square one hitting Right Move all over again. So if you have a nice house we can rent, please feel free to let me know!

Okay, you’re thinking ‘so what’s this got to do with modelling?’ First of all, I’m letting off some steam of my crappy week which I’m truly grateful to offload this onto you! It is so easy to become disheartened and feel shot down when the going gets tough. I am the first person to put my hand up and admit I come close to deleting my Facebook account when I feel like this. In fact I could begin a whole new blog dedicated to my short comings and bad luck. (Don’t get me started…) The way I’ve felt this week is how I sometimes feel about my modelling. The feelings are usually triggered when I’ve been looking at some really good images in someone else’s portfolio. I’ll admire them so much I begin to blur the line with feeling resentment that it isn’t me in the image and then downhearted that I’m not slim like the model. It’s on reflection of these self attacking rituals that I realise I’m seeing things the wrong way round. Of course I will never be that model, the girl with perfect little lips, slim hips and small boobs. Because I’m me! Of course I won’t be a fashion editorial model. But I can be what I am designed for, and that’s modelling lingerie; lingerie for real women with curves and that’s where I realise I actually have the best job.
The moral of the story? There maybe isn’t one, other than: don’t allow yourself to get beaten down by the world. Things may not work out how you think they should but it doesn’t mean you’re stuffed. This is what I’m hoping, or rather telling myself about our misfortune with finding a house and not getting the one we were supposed to be. I may be all stressed out now with no plan but it should come good in the wash. At least that’s what I said on my other half’s Facebook status. 🙂

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