The news of a newly developed high tech bra that’s said to open only when the wearer is in love, began circulating online this week.  The Japanese lingerie brand, Ravijour, behind the True Love Tester Bra say the benefit lies with warding off unwanted sexual advances thus helping you engage only with the love of your life.  The ‘smart’ bra more akin to a chastity belt than a sexy garment, works by analysing your heart rate via bluetooth through an application that sends a message to release the bra’s closure – but only when the heart rate has increased sufficiently to trigger the apparent stage of love achieved.  Whilst the efficacy of this supposed innovation is debatable, what isn’t is my foot stepping right in and landing a bug in the baloney bra system.

Why do I not rate the supposed ‘true love tester’ bra?  I’ll first touch on the fairytale illusion of love at first sight – it doesn’t exist.  You feel a warmth, a flutter, a moment of overwhelming joy when you meet your loved ones – your boyfriend, your kids or your pet.  Love is an emotion that’s grown, nurtured and allows for the feeling of security, happiness and appreciation which opens the door to a deeper emotion of oneness, passion, unconditional love.  Love within the capacity of friendship or that shared between parent and child, is obviously different to a lifelong partner but it’s all equally a measure on the same scale.  Lust at first sight, however, is the driving force behind the glance of a hot potential pursuit.  Lust does not mean you are in love and the feeling in your pants isn’t as reliable as your heart.  Or brain.

So, if your heart’s racing – due to lust – and the clever little app’s telling your bra it’s “yay okay!”, it means… you’re in love?

Your heart’s racing, your pulse is pumping throughout your body, you reeeally need to get those clothes off you (and off your prey) because this is ‘the one’.  Really?  Since when was love purely sexual?

The definition of love or lust aside, what concerns me most is the apparent need for such an item of clothing.  Since when did a woman need an external, scientific device to help her decide whether she’s in love or not?  Are our womanly hormones not capable of figuring out our emotions?  Is it really that much of an emotive task to know if we love someone?  I hate to say it so bluntly, but if you don’t know where your feelings lie and you need such help then I can assure you, you most probably are not in love.

But the biggest issue I have with this bra?  A woman can decide for herself if she wants to take her clothes off or not!  I would not wear this bra in a million years because I do what I want, and that includes taking off my bra if I really feel the need to.  You don’t need to be in love to take your bra off, whether the person in front of you is the love of your life or not.  As long as you know what you’re doing, having fun, enjoying, living and making your own choices for your life, you really don’t need some smart bra to tell you so.

If you’re seriously looking for love please don’t put your trust in a gizmo.  Your heart racing does not signify your status in love.  A bra popping open is most certainly not the game changer and ultimate prize of love.  

I would hate to be wearing the smart bra whilst rushing round the supermarket, or during a hard vacuuming session, or whilst I nervously sit with my heart pumping waiting for a job interview…

P.S  Those with high blood pressure need not apply.