HELLO, 2019 | 8 New Year’s Resolutions I’m Making

December 29, 2018

I’m not a stickler for new year’s resolutions. Some years I’ll make a list of ‘must do’s, other years I’ll not bother. Last January I brought in the new year with zero resolutions and I was okay with that. This year, however, is completely different.

That’s not to say 2018 wasn’t without it’s problems. Oh, it was. I was still receiving therapy for my anxiety disorder, which was stepped up to high intensity by the spring. I had a huge need to improve myself and I was certain to get myself better before the year was out. But this wasn’t a resolution. To me, a resolution is about choice, and mental ill health, just like any other illness, isn’t subject to our will.

The closer we approach the dawn of 2019 I realise this year I do have some hopeful resolutions to work on. A good list of them. Most of them are massively family focussed, some are just about me, but they’re all burning desires to make the most out of life and better it.

This coming year, the husband and I will have been together (engaged, not married – that’ll be three) for 20 years. A huge milestone prompting a bit of celebration and a lot of positive life evaluation.

So here’s my list of ‘new year’s resolutions’ for 2019

1. MOVE HOUSE

I’ve been wanting to move house for so long, so it’s not so much a new resolution, but this year we’re adamant that we must move house. Where we live now has endless problems, it’s too small and we want out of the town.

When we moved into our present house five years ago we sacrificed somewhere bigger for what we saw as somewhere more socially engaging. Having mostly lived rurally with few neighbours but for farms, we’ve realised we’re never going to adapt to town life. We’re desperate to get back into the countryside where Reuben can grow up playing in fields, and we have only a field of cows for neighbours.

2. GIVE REUBEN A BEDROOM

We’re still co-sleeping partly out of the lack of a bedroom for Reuben so moving house will naturally facilitate this. We love sharing the bed but we’re definitely outgrowing the bedtime routine where Reuben fights sleep and I have to lie in bed for hours in vain attempt to settle him. It seems every night we fantasise about Reuben having his own room (we even have the wallpaper ready!), a place where he can sit and read books or play with his cars in his own space, and a place where he’s free to tire himself out in safety. He’s more than welcome to keep on snuggling but it would be nice to give him the option.

3. WEAN REUBEN OFF THE BOTTLE – THEN FORMULA

Reuben’s been drinking less and less milk bottles over the last few months; having a bottle at bedtime and occasionally before his afternoon nap, so I feel we have a natural progression happening. We’ve also noticed drinking from a bottle is giving Reuben massive trapped wind problems, probably because he won’t be sucking it fast enough to get a proper drink through a teat. So we’re starting to implement a switch-over from a bottle to his regular ‘milk cup’, a 360 no-spill cup Reuben drinks cows milk from at breakfast. This hasn’t proved successful so far. It appears he’s still quite fond of his comforting bottle and when he goes through phases of refusing food, he asks for a milk (in a bottle) more, which I’m happy to give because I worry he’s not getting enough nutrients. But we’ll keep trying. Hopefully – in time – this will reduce the wind problem and help wean him off formula altogether.

4. GET PASSPORTS

I’ve actually never had a passport. Yep, I’m coming up 37 and I’ve never been abroad – terrible, I know. The reason why has been multi-pronged; mostly because I’ve never wanted to leave our animals with anyone, but it’s also been fear related too. Fear of the unknown, I guess. But I think with this year being our 20th anniversary I’m feeling encouraged to make change, and that, especially now we have Reuben, now is the time to start seeing the world and having worldwide family adventures. Plus how cute will Reuben’s first passport be?!

5. GO ON HOLIDAY

You could say this comes hand in hand with the passport resolution but first things first, and every step’s a giant leap for me. From short European city breaks to weeks away further afield, I’m already itching to create a list and tick off those cultured destinations.

I’ve said for years I’d love to experience a traditional German Christmas market, so that would be a dream come true. And a hot holiday featuring a few beach days would be perfect.

6. TAKE REUBEN TO PLAY GROUPS

I want to make a more concerted effort in 2019 to get Reuben out socialising more, as this last year we’ve been too apathetic about play groups. Reuben is good when he meets other toddlers, I just worry not allowing him this regular interaction is hindering him.

So far I’ve made the leap and signed Reuben up to forest school! I do have my anxieties about it but we should be okay as we’ll have our friends with us. Next, I want to make sure Reuben goes to the weekday play group at church, and another group which we used to go to when Reuben was a baby but before it changed time and venue, so it’s essentially a new group.

Nursery is something I feel hugely apprehensive about – I’m not convinced it’s the right time just yet, but I’m willing to consider it. Leaving Reuben for a few hours a week for some structured play could boost Reuben’s confidence prior to school and may help bring his development along, though I think this may be for next year.

7. GO SWIMMING

I’ve had two prepaid swimming passes in my purse for months so I’ve no excuse not to go swimming. I have been making far too many excuses though – how will I get there, where will Reuben go, I don’t want wet hair in winter, I haven’t waxed my legs, I’ve got a cold. I’ll never go at this rate!

So I’m going to do it. I need to for my health and sanity. Sean said he’ll take me and that he and Reuben will be fine together. In fact it’ll be good to take Reuben sometime too, or even go as a family. So there we go. And no one will even care if my legs are a bit hairy.

8. BE FEARLESS

I want to start taking leaps of faith. Start taking action and doing things that I’d otherwise duck out of because of insecurities and unfounded fears. Believe in myself while trusting that God is in control and will take on my worries so I don’t need to drag them around with me. Start doing without so much hesitating and fear less.

There’s so much I want to do and experience, things that have been put off and disregarded for one reason or another. Now Reuben is approaching two years old, I’m realising how amazing it is to discover and experience life through the eyes of a child. I love doing life with my little man and I don’t want pessimism and negativity to get any more of a foothold it’s already got. So this coming year I want to (try!) to start living fearlessly!